I just saw a lady trying to balance a series of cups on her head while sporting nails that look like they belong to a Vegas showgirl. What even is the deal with these beauty challenges? Do people actually wake up and decide they need their nails to look like a disco ball?
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Anyway, the other day, I found myself getting sucked into this wormhole of beauty hacks. And let me tell you, it’s one bewildering ride. Somewhere between the ‘naturally plump lips’ promise and ‘instant hair growth,’ I caught a snippet of a girl using a bungee cord to style her hair. Yes, a bungee cord — I’m just as confused as you are.
So, amidst trying to understand how people even come up with these things, I came across someone using cups to perfect their curls. I mean, kudos to creativity, but seriously, who has that kind of time? Plus, let’s talk about the nail hacks that supposedly ‘change your life.’ One hack involved sticking pieces of actual seaweed on nails… for hydration? Or maybe it was for aesthetic purposes? Either way, all I saw was a mess.
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Then you’ve got the beauty ‘tips’ pages, filled with poorly-lit selfies and blurry shots of ‘before and afters.’ Like, okay, but how is your room messier than mine? Maybe that’s a hack too? Get the messy room look to match your eccentric new nails.
Honestly, the only thing I’ve learned from all this is that some people have way too much time or are living in entirely different universes than I am. I mean, it’s like the make-up version of those ‘Cup Stacking Championships,’ but with way more potential for disaster.
My eyes still hurt. I need coffee. Ugh.