I was brushing my hair last night when I thought, “How is this my life now?” Long hair feels like a blessing and a curse. Mainly a curse when you snag it in a car door or when your cat decides it’s a toy. You know that feeling when you reach behind your neck intending to massage out the knot but end up just pulling half your hair out instead? Yeah, that’s been me more days than not.
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Embracing this whole ‘beauty mantra’ idea, I decided to try every bizarre remedy I could find. I swear I read about avocado hair masks that left me feeling like a salad. (Why do all these beauty tips involve food, anyway?) Anyone else ever feel more like a kitchen than a bathroom? To top it off, my shower drain could tell horror stories about the hair clumps it’s seen. Trust me, the cleaning is a whole saga.
In one of my deep-dives through the endless ocean of hair care articles, I stumbled upon some promising stuff. It’s like these articles were written by people living in a land where frizz didn’t exist and hair behaved. Lies. But every once in a while, I’d accidentally stumble upon a hack that worked, like using silk pillowcases. Surprise! That was one tip that actually made my hair less evil.
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The real betrayal came from hair commercials. How is it that those models don’t look like they just survived a tornado when they step out into a gentle breeze? It’s like a spiritual test every time I attempt a blow-dry. In the end, no matter how strong or shiny the hair, there’s always that rogue strand mocking me in the mirror. Ugh, life! Anyway, I need to buy more conditioner now. Seriously.