I just found this obscene amount of makeup stuffed in my cabinet, and I’m sitting here like, why? Sure, exploring all the makeup sections in Sephora is cathartic (I mean, the scents, the palettes, and the falsely promising sample sizes are like treasure), but do we ever actually use these joyful acquisitions?
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Let’s talk about those rainbow eyeshadow palettes. We all have that one. All those electric greens and bubblegum pinks that suit exactly zero world events, unless you’re in a Kylie Jenner look-alike competition, maybe. Don’t get me wrong, they look outrageously fun in store under all that perfect lighting, evil genius marketing alert, yet when you take them home? Straight into the ‘I’ll use it someday’ drawer. Makeup is a bit like those home gym devices we buy every January—seems like a stroke of genius when you’re buying it, but then it just takes up space next to that dusty yoga mat.
Also, hey, what about those dozens of brightly colored eyeliners I impulsively buy on bad moods that scream ‘I’m an artist’? I’ve got them all—lime to sapphire—and they’re still pristine. I get it. It’s easy to think that having watermelon green eyes will somehow win me the elusive adulting award or give me a personality (spoiler: my default is unchanged). At the end of the day, it’s just sticky, smudgy nonsense! For most of us, a basic black eyeliner serves just as well. Yet, here we are. Let’s not mention the nail stickers designed for fairytales—rocking them is an art in itself (one that I’ve never managed).
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The same goes for those overly expensive face mists that promise to turn your skin into a magical unicorn plushie. I saw this within a hilarious collection of mindless purchases and seriously, how many levels of “soothing” do we even need? As if mere water isn’t enough to calm, hydrate, or whatever term they’re tossing around these days.
Don’t even get me started on “universal” lipstick shades—the amount of them I’ve tried, thinking they were my ‘one true shade,’ only to find out I end up looking like a ghost in an old Western movie. And mascaras? I mean, every time they boast about a new magic formula, but in the end, all they do is make our lashes look like damp spider legs. Can we just chill?
I might continue buying way too much makeup or collecting infinite lip gloss shades for that illusory perfect occasion. But for now, my eyes are on my neighbor’s ‘capsule collection’ approach—stick to classics, save us the unnecessary glitter and probably a boatload of money. Still, nothing wrong with dreaming about it during my next shopping trip. My eyes still hurt. I need coffee. Ugh.