So, what is the deal with this ‘Bambi eyes’ nonsense? Seriously, who even decided that exposed eyeliner wings make you look wide-eyed and innocent like some animated deer? It’s just black smeared beyond acceptable limits, and people are fawning over it like it’s something revolutionary. Give me a break. How about we focus on not looking like we’ve taken eyeliner tips from raccoons?
And don’t get me started on the tortured process of making these dang things even. You spend more time erasing botched flicks than actually applying the liner. Yeah sure, I love standing in front of the mirror for half an hour trying to make my eyes look like they’ll take flight. Here’s a novel idea—why not embrace asymmetry? Just embrace that your eyes will never match and leave it at that.
When did putting on makeup become a precision sport? Forget it, I’m done with Bambi. Unless it comes with the magic ability to make coffee faster, I don’t see why I’d bother. Whatever.