I woke up this morning to realize the universe wants me to care about my hair. Like, why? My neighbor’s been talking about this miracle blow-dry technique they learned. And guess what, haircare’s suddenly poppin’ everywhere. Every corner of the internet, these so-called ‘beauty guides’ are pushing popular haircare. Have people forgotten body odor when there are so many shampoos and serums to try?
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Someone sent me this title about the mystical ‘纤手老师吹风造型烫发教学课程4 0001.’ Sounds like a wizard spell, honestly. I couldn’t even pronounce it if I tried. Is it another Chinese TikTok hack? My friend’s obsessed with these. She swears by them but unexpectedly, she had a full-out existential crisis, realizing how much she spent on these things when she could have gone on a vacation. (That’s a different story.)
Apparently, your hair matters as much as your diet now. I came across a strange comparison to weight loss when sifting through this haircare madness. Don’t know why someone thought combining hair with weight loss was a good idea. Are we expecting to shed hair weight to shed body weight? Like, no thanks.
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The connection between these new beauty rituals and weight loss is beyond me. Maybe it’s all about self-improvement? But seriously, if some people’s hair looks any better with these treatments, hats off. Just watch what it costs you while burning your hair ends.
My own hair always frizzes out like it’s scared of me meeting people. But now I’m supposed to believe with a few fancy techniques (that no one ever really has the time for), my hair will perform miracles in lush beauty, just like those commercials promise. Don’t they say miracles only come around once?
Anyway, my hair still feels like it’s on a bad Tinder date with a blow dryer. I think I need coffee. Ugh.