I swear, if I see one more person try to convince me that smearing sunglasses patterns over fingernails is chic and sophisticated, I might lose it. It’s literally like they saw an old-money aesthetic and thought, ‘Hey, let’s plaster that on our claws.’ Who wakes up thinking, ‘You know what my nails need? The same design that’s on my grandma’s reading glasses’? And they say it adds texture and pattern while being neutral? Sure, because nothing says subtle quite like tortoiseshell explosions on your digits.
And the social media obsession! You’d think we found the holy grail of all nail art with everyone posting about their so-called ‘vintage vibe.’ It’s a nail trend lemming effect, where one person blind-worships and suddenly everyone’s jumping off the same cliff. Don’t even get me started on trying to match these nails with any outfit that isn’t also bearing the same loud print. Your nails end up being the highlight of every room whether you asked for it or not. Some people may call it bold; I call it unnecessarily trying too hard.
At the end of the day, nails should probably just be nails, not accessories begging for their own Instagram account. But hey, everyone loves a gimmick, right? Whatever.