So, the other day I felt the urge to address the wild forest that are my eyebrows. Okay, maybe ‘wild’ is a generous term. More like sparse, barely-there excuses for eyebrows. I stumbled across something claiming to be the BEST eyebrow makeup tutorial out there for mature, thin brows—which, let’s be honest, is basically a fancy way of saying ‘older and struggling’.
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Anyway, I grabbed this crusty little eyebrow pencil I had lying around (I think I bought it a couple of years ago when I was feeling spontaneous). The idea was simple: make the brows look fuller with some kind of magical technique. Apparently, it only takes three steps. Sure, three steps to perfection. And pigs fly.
So first, there was the goal of outlining the sparse patches with the pencil. Trying not to look like a toddler’s coloring book is harder than you’d think. The texture was kind of chalky, and I swear, somehow half of it ended up on my sweater. Then I needed to fill in with light strokes. The tutorial insists on the lighter touch, or else you risk looking like a cartoon villain.
Next step: a brow gel. Heaven knows why mine smelled like the adhesive they use in cheap glue sticks. Applying it was like sticky Tetris on my face. But, miraculously, it did hold my random eyebrow hairs in one direction. I can kind of respect that.
The final reveal? Well, it kind of worked. I mean, under the merciless fluorescent light of the bathroom, it wasn’t half bad. I wasn’t about to rival Cara Delevingne, but they looked… not invisible. This was confirmed by the shocked reaction of the mirror when I got too close.
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Ultimately, it was fun to play makeup artist for a few sad minutes, even with my lousy application skills. But I am left questioning, is there anything out there that genuinely transforms brows without requiring the skills of Van Gogh? My eyebrows are a bit intimidated now; I mean, why should they have to pretend to be something they’re not?
My eyes still hurt from focusing on that tiny mirror. I need coffee. Ugh.