So, I thought I’d give this ‘Chic Soft Glam Everyday Makeup’ thing a try, because why not, right? Honestly, the whole idea of ‘soft glam’ sounds like an oxymoron to me. For me, it’s usually either panda-like eyes or the bare face of someone who just rolled out of bed.
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This morning, armed with foundation that’s slightly the wrong shade (thank you, fluorescent store lighting), I embarked on my glam journey. Did I mention blending isn’t my forte? Because it really isn’t. Halfway through, I had blended my eyeshadow so well, it became nonexistent. Or was it that I applied so little, canvases in art class had more visible doodles? Who knows.
The soft glam look is supposed to be subtle yet polished, which is kind of like asking me to perform brain surgery while blindfolded. As soon as I applied the third layer of liquid eyeliner for that ‘just perfect wing’, I realized I was spiraling down the ‘smudged raccoon’ route instead. Cue immediate panic and the hunt for makeup remover, which idiotically, I had run out of.
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At this point, my nails decided to chip. Right pinky—always the right pinky. Classic me, ended up with smudges of nail polish all over the table, trying to fix it.
I guess when people say ‘practice makes perfect’, they haven’t seen me spend 30 minutes trying to achieve symmetry that I could never conquer anyway. Seriously, have you tried to do anything evenly on your face? It’s like trying to ice a cake with a spatula meant for BBQ grilling. My cheeks looked like someone accidentally brushed against me with a powdered donut.
The glam look also comes with the territory of endlessly drying liquid lipstick that holds the moisture level equivalent to a desert storm. Why do I do this to myself? All in the name of chic-ness, apparently. At the end of it all, I surrendered to my half-baked clip-clop-glam look and figured early morning lighting would be my savior. It wasn’t.
My eyes still hurt. I need coffee. Ugh.