So, scalp facials. What genius came up with that one? Like, who was sitting in a salon one day and thought, “You know what? My scalp needs a facial!” It’s already covered in hair half the time. Is a facial really necessary unless we’re prepping to go bald just to show off our smooth, shiny scalps? I mean, let’s exfoliate everything. Next, it’ll be elbow facials because why should elbows feel left out of the pampering party. Right?
And what’s with the “multi-step” nonsense? Exfoliation, steam, massage… You mean washing your hair with a bit more drama and flair? Are we supposed to spend hours massaging the flakes of dandruff further into your hair to cultivate some mystical healthy growth? Sounds as pretentious as calling fries “pommes frites.” Clearly, the “skinification” of hair is here. Somewhere along the line someone convinced us that healthy hair should start at the root, which is like saying a cake is only as good as its batter bowl.
By the way, if you want more ridiculous hair trends, you might find something over at this specific text. Maybe we should just prep our eyebrows for their own facials next, because we can’t have them feeling like second-class hair citizens. Whatever.