So, I ended up down this rabbit hole of trying unrealistic beauty hacks because I had nothing better to do on a Saturday. You know the ones—where someone tries to convince you that toothpaste is a great substitute for acne treatment? I swear, either they have a different kind of toothpaste, or their skin is made of steel.
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I saw this questionable hack list and couldn’t resist. Who knew a rubber spatula would become a staple in my temporary beauty routine? Spoiler alert: it didn’t help my contouring game, and now I have a bright red forehead from whatever peppermint sorcery was in that ‘natural’ remedy.
Anyway, up next was the bizarre ‘ice cube facial’. Apparently, rubbing literal ice cubes on your skin should tighten pores. Sure, it was refreshing for like three seconds until my fingers felt like they were slowly freezing off. Note to self, maybe hold off on the next-level frostbite beauty trends.
And just when you thought it couldn’t get better, I found myself trying to make lipstick out of beets—yes, the vegetable. It seemed like a Pinterest-made wonder until I looked in the mirror and saw more Joker-in-a-low-budget-makeup-show than goddess of nature.
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But, not all hope was lost. There was one hack that was sort of okay—a makeshift highlighter using edible glitter. Because nothing says ‘subtle’ like turning your cheekbones into disco balls. My cat kept eyeing me suspiciously the entire time I was testing this, probably wondering what abnormality her human had turned into.
Would I do it again? Let’s just say my face needs a break from this DIY chaos. Seriously, who comes up with this stuff, and why do I fall for it every time? My eyes still hurt from the glitter fallout. I need coffee. Ugh.