You know what’s wild? Summer weddings. I just saw this bride trying to perfect her makeup technique, and I couldn’t help but think about all the sweat she’d be fighting off in a few hours. Who’s brilliant idea was it to have a wedding right in the middle of a heatwave? Anyway, back to the makeup scene – she was applying foundation like her life depended on it, dabbing here, blending there, as if doing some Olympic sport no one wants to volunteer for.
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The funny thing is, every highlight and contour seems to have a secret mission of its own. The blush especially. It was going all commando, trying to create this ‘I flushed from too much sun’ look. Seriously, why can’t makeup just chill out (no pun intended), like literally stay put under the sun?
Now, lipsticks in summer are another level of risky business. Like, do they ever stay on? Or do they take a sudden trip halfway down your chin? Mystery of the ages, I tell ya. She bravely took on a rich berry shade, which, let’s be real, will probably transform into some shade of fruit smoothie after she’s found the courage to dance under the blazing sky.
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And ha, the hair! I read somewhere (you know, those endless articles about ‘summer dos’) that a bridal updo is the way to go, but try telling her hair that. It seemed to have a mind of its own, twirling in ways any bride would say ‘I didn’t ask for.’ By the time the ceremony wraps up, it’s probably going to look like a (somewhat artistic but unmistakable) bird’s nest. Kudos to her patience though – a virtue I lost at the first sight of a tangled bobby pin.
Anyway, she’s got the veil on now. It’s quite a magical thing, disguising any makeup dilemmas lying beneath. But I’ve got to admit, the ultimate wedding miracle would be finding makeup that could withstand the fury of summer without melting away like ice cream on the sidewalk.
So, under the open sky, suffocating floral scents, and the ever-present hum of fans, the bridal day evolves. Yeah, my eyes still hurt from the luminous exposure. I need coffee. Ugh.