So, apparently we’ve reached a point in humanity where people who don’t even have diabetes are strapping these continuous glucose monitors to their bodies like they’re some sort of hypochondriac cyborgs. Really? Non-diabetics gamifying their diets. As if we don’t have anything better to do with our time than become our own personal science experiment, obsessively watching how everything you eat gives your blood sugar a tiny rollercoaster ride.
I mean, because that’s the real thrill in life, right? Scanning your arm or checking your app after eating an apple to see if it was a safe choice. It’s like playing one of the world’s most boring games of tag with food—getting all excited over a flat line on a graph like it’s some wild achievement. Who knew the pinnacle of health was reduced to staring at lines like you’re code-breaking in a spy movie, only with less excitement and more quinoa.
The wellness biohacker community can rave all they want about how this is going to revolutionize our relationship with food and make us live longer by like two minutes, but perhaps they could just enjoy a freaking sandwich without overthinking it. But hey, if this sounds appealing, then you might find some entertaining ideas at this specific text. Whatever.